today was an interesting day. let me recount the events.

waking up at my usual time of 1130 to find light shining into my eyes and the wrath of a drill being unleashed on the apartment above me, i discovered, to my tremendous horror that i had a grand total of five smses which i ignored because my phone was plugged into the charger and it doesnt vibrate when plugged in. as i replied to the smses, my monitor flared to life as i pressed the monitor button. i then discovered that 3 people had messaged me on the convenient application beloved of us known as MSN MESSENGER, ignoring the fact that i had my status set to away.

continuing to ignore the three open conversation windows, i moved my mouse to my taskbar and clicked on the icon which has ruled my holidays. a sphere inscribed with a W, allowing me to immerse myself in a fantasy world ruled by wsad and my two mouse buttons, where i am able to slay ogres twenty times my height in less then 7 seconds with swords flashing so fast that my computer fails to keep up with them. yet, nothing so interesting today. i merely walked around the great city of ironforge chatting with random people and, amazingly, tore myself away from the computer to eat my extremely cold breakfast.

following which, my house was graced by a visit from Roland "rainbow" Chua(as yuan cai so aptly names him), who immediately decided to immerse himself in the world that i had just tore myself away from, to slaughter boars and scorpions and basilisks with nothing but his trusty pet and mighty bow and polearm. our beloved one-legged friend, again using the extremely convenient application referred to above as MSN MESSENGER, told us to meet him at bishan mrt at 1430. our brilliant sense of time permitted us to misinterpret that as 3oclock and as such, Mr. Rainbow only paused in his merciless hunt of hapless animals at 1430. disconnecting my mouse and removing my mousepad from the table, i threw them into my bag as i wore my jacket over my morrison house t-shirt as mr. rainbow visited the lavatory.

now, closing that masterpiece of wood known as a door behind me, we proceeded down the staircase and depressed the button to summon the lift to our floor. immediately mr. rainbow discovers that he left that mobile device without which none of us could survive now, the handphone, back up in my house. so up the stairs we trooped once more, reopening the wooden masterpiece of a door once more, for him to retrieve his handphone, and then proceeded on our long and uninteresting journey to the city hall mrt station and from there, continuing onwards to the heartland of singapore IT, no not sim lim square, but FUNAN THE IT MALL.

upon arriving inside funan, we proceeded to meet up with our beloved DoTA teammates Gan "GGG" Wai Leong, Wong "deaceshooter" Di Fei, and Goh "trowa" Qi Xiang to eat lunch and be amused by mr. wong's talent in the art known as "bullshitting". following which, we moved on towards the centre of funan to register ourselves as present for our DoTA competition, and draft the heros that we wished to have. for the DoTA-illiterate people reading this, you will fail to comprehend the lists coming up, but since more people i know play DoTA then not, i will list the hero choices, in the order that they were drafted. TEAM KKAY:) (our team for the uninformed) : 1st) Razor the Lightning Revenant. 2nd) Ezalor the Keeper of the Light. 3rd) Akasha the Queen of Pain. 4th) Rylai Crestfall the Crystal Maiden. 5th) Rikimaru the Stealth Assassin. TEAM MJ IS GAY (our opponents for the people with IQ below 50) : 1st) Bradwarden the Centaur Chieftain. 2nd) Sven the Rogueknight. 3rd) Rhasta the Shadow Shaman. 4th) Kel'thuzad the Lich. 5th) Crixalis the Sand King. Luck was on their side as they managed to predict which side the golden piece of metal worth one singaporean dollar that the marshal flipped up into the air would land on. They chose to pick their hero first, so we were left with the choice of choosing the side that we would play on, and we decided we would, for strength and honour, defend the World Tree on the side of the Sentinels, and that they would, for king and country, defend the Frozen Throne on behalf of the Scourge.

With our immense talent, unbelievable micromanagement, extremely vulgar communication, perfectly coordinated timing and insane aggresiveness, we managed to, as gamers put it, "pwn" the other team. However, their defence held up under our constant probing, and in the end, Mr. Wong, also known as DeAceShooter brought down the righteous wrath of god upon the opponents by building an Oblivion Staff, which caused a "Fatal Error". Now, before this, our opponents, in an amazing display of gamesmanship, had attempted to have us disqualified over the fact that Mr. Gan aka GGG had built a Refresher Orb, which was technically forbidden by the rules of the game although the glitch caused by using it, ironically a "Fatal Error", had been fixed a few versions ago. The game was paused for around 15 minutes as the marshals debated on what to do, and in the end it was decided that as he had not used the Orb yet, he would be permitted to blow it into oblivion (haha pun), or rather just throw his spears at it until the treasure box representing more then 5000 gold and 30 minutes of game time farming closed. So, back to Mr. Wong's calling down of Armageddon upon the entire game. After the game closed, he took a screenshot of the "Fatal Error" warning box along with the entire desktop and set it as the desktop wallpaper, in hopes of befuddling the poor, innocent gamer to next set his eyes upon that particular computer. As to who was awarded the win, the marshals viewed the replay up to the point where the game crashed, decided that our team had a clear and decisive advantage over the other due to the fact that we were beating them in hero kills, tower kills, barrack kills, levels and gold, and awarded us the victory over team MJ IS GAY.

Following which, we made our slow way out of the gaming area and proceeded to scout out the other teams who were playing at the moment, and sad to say, most of them were a disgrace to the gift of God that is DoTA. Deciding not to sear our eyes with the blinding agony of watching those teams "play"(playing used in a figurative form here because i am unsure of whether those teams really knew how to play the game), we dragged our weary bodies into the shamelessly overpriced and yet over-patronized establishment known as PastaMania. Leaving Mr. Gan to place my order, i paid a visit to the lavatory, and after that, went back to consume my meal before leaving for home in a taxi with Mr. Gan.

As a result of us beating team MJ IS GAY today, we will have to once again, drag ourselves down to Funan tomorrow to face off against team Sacrilege. May Lady Luck shine upon us, and enhance our skills to the point of, as gamers say, "1337ness".

And thus ends MY tale of epic proportions.